The Hardest Thing In This World Is To Live In It
by lovesbitch4spike
Summary: Sequel to the Tara Trials, although you don't need to have read those to understand it. W/T with a focus on Dawn. Tara offers friendship and support to our favorite little green ball of energy as well as to Dawn's new "friend".
1. The Newest Kitten

The Newest Kitten

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Though there is an emphasis on W/T, this is a D/T story(not in a romantic way though, are you crazy?). A little sappy I know, but since Joss took them away from me, I'm going to do exactly what I want to with them in my stories. Tara does live on.

Quick Explanation of the Title: Posters at The Kitten, The Witches and The Bad Wardrobe board are known as "kittens". After Dawn's wonderful reactions to the couple in Seeing Red, she was declared by the board to be an official kitten.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13

*****************************

Dawn felt lonely, more lonely than she had ever felt in her life. When her mom and sister had died, she thought things had reached an all-time low, but now she knew she had been wrong. Tara was dead. Anya had left in disgrace. Spike had left in worse than disgrace. Giles had gone back to England. Buffy was still coping with her problems, leaving her somewhat distant. Xander was doing the same. And the events of the past spring had left Willow so scarred that Dawn feared she might never fully be the girl she once had been. At times like this Dawn's soul ached more than ever for Tara's comforting presence.

Sometimes when she slept she felt better. She'd even had a few dreams where Tara had told her that everything was going to be alright.

But then the morning always came.

Dawn sighed. She sat on the couch, flipping through channels of cartoons that she had no intention of actually watching. The familiar noise made her feel a little better. Willow and Buffy were both still asleep. How they could sleep in so late baffled her. After all, Dawn had started joining the late night patrols, and she got just as exhausted as the rest of the scoobies did slaying the creatures of the night. But there was something in her that made her want to live for the next day. Something she couldn't explain. Perhaps it was that so many of the people she loved had died, yet she lived. She couldn't waste the chances that they never had.

Dawn felt the tears coming on and she pushed them back. She had cried enough all summer. Impatient, she decided to try again with Willow. After all, much like the demon controls the vampire, the magic had controlled Willow to say those horrible things about her. It had not been the true thoughts of Willow herself. Dawn had already forgiven her.

Dawn went to Willow's door. She paused for a moment, thinking she heard giggling. That was odd. Willow hadn't giggled since ... well since the day she and Tara had got back together. Dawn shook her head to clear it. Willow must have the television on. Dawn knocked.

Willow's voice called back, "Just a minute!" in a somewhat startled tone.

There was murmuring. Dawn realized the television was not on.

Willow opened the door a crack. "Dawn! Is there something you need?" Willow was wearing a bathrobe. A hastily closed bathrobe.

"Who is in there?" Dawn asked, feeling nausea attack her insides. How could Willow? After everything. After Tara. How could she touch someone else? How could she even look at someone else? Dear God, how could she giggle with someone else?

A waver of uncertainty flickered across Willow's face. She stepped out of her room, shutting the door behind her. "Look, let's sit down and talk about this. I have something important to tell you-"

"Let me guess, you needed to move on with your life and now you have. I can't believe you. I thought you were more loyal than that. Whoever she is, she'll never be half the person Tara was!"

The door opened and Tara emerged, clad only in a sheet.

"Uh honey, maybe we should show her first and explain later."

Dawn wasn't sure how to handle the new information in front of her.

"A bot?" she asked.

Tara didn't even answer the question. She didn't have to. She took Dawn's hand lovingly in her own and looked into her eyes. "I came back," she said.

Dawn looked over at Willow. "You raised her? But I thought your magic was gone."

"She didn't do a thing. Actually she did plentyto inspire me, but she didn't use any magic. I came back," Tara repeated.

"How?"

"I couldn't stay in heaven when people here on earth needed me," Tara told her lovingly.

The tears of hurt that Dawn had held back only a few minutes before came flooding down her cheeks. This time, they were tears of joy.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you!" Dawn hugged Tara tightly.

Tara hugged her back. "Whoops!" Tara caught her sheet as it started to slip, nearly revealing what was for Willow's eyes only.

Dawn didn't even notice. "There were so many things I wanted to tell you. Things I thought I'd never get the chance to say ..."

"Then how about you let me get dressed and we'll say them, alright?" Tara said, asking both her lover and Dawn the question.

Willow nodded. "You two should talk. We'll have plenty of time to be together later. Plenty. Because I'm never letting you go again." Willow kissed her passionately, onlookers be damned!

This time it was Dawn who giggled. Willow pulled away, blushing slightly. "Don't stop on my account!" Dawn told her.

"If I don't stop, I won't be able to stop, and then you'll never get a chance to talk. I'll be waiting honey." She gave Tara another quick peck.

Tara hurriedly threw on her Goddess garb, as she had no idea where the rest of her clothing was. Her clothes had all been in her apartment when she had died. She would have to ask Willow later what had become of it. Not that she had much need for it when her red-headed soul mate was around.

Tara and Dawn sat down on the steps.

"Wow, you look beautiful," Dawn began. Tara smiled, only increasing her beauty. "I guess what I wanted to say is that I love you. I never told you that before, and I didn't know if you knew. You've always been the kindest, most giving person I know. Like last year, you were there for me. Always. And I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I never stopped long enough to think about how you were feeling, with the break up and moving out and everything. But you never complained, you just sat there while I worried about not getting enough attention. God, I was so selfish!"

"You were hurting too," Tara assured her. "It's not selfish to be in pain, it's only selfish if you wallow in that pain, and refuse to let anyone in to help you."

"Well," Dawn admitted, "I did a lot of that too."

Tara laughed. "But it sounds like you're not going to do that anymore. You've grown a lot since I left."

"Thanks." Dawn beamed. "I also wanted you to know that you're probably the best friend I ever had. Well, pretty much the only friend."

Tara was concerned. "Don't you make friends at school?"

Dawn shrugged. "What's the point. If I care about someone, they'll only get hurt or die."

Tara put her arm around Dawn. "Now I want you to listen to me. People get hurt because there is a dark force that controls Sunnydale, not because you love them. Love is wonderful and I don't ever want you to shut it out." The glow from her reunion with her lover emphasized to Dawn indeed how wonderful love was. "I'm glad you're my friend, and even more glad that I'm yours. But I shouldn't be your only friend. I want as many people as possible to get to know the wonderful young woman that is my Dawnie."

Dawn blushed, and not just at the compliment. "Well, actually there is someone ..."

Tara caught on, "But not necessarily just a friend, right?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe. I know I'm just in high school, but I think I might be in love."

Tara nudged her. "That's wonderful. Tell me about him. I'm not an expert on boys but-"

"It isn't exactly a boy."

Further realizations hit her. "Oh! Well, then it looks like I'm a good one to talk to after all, because I am an expert at pining away over another girl." She glanced fondly back at the bedroom. "And sometimes, it pays off. Does she know?"

"Nobody knows. Except you of course. You won't tell Buffy will you?" Dawn pleaded. "I just need to figure out myself first before I try and go explaining it to others."

"Of course not. You take your time. Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"Because I'm gay?"

"No, because you're in love. You might have a harder time of it than others, but in the end love makes everything worthwhile."

"Speaking of love," Dawn told her, "I should let you get back to Willow. The two of you have some catching up to do."

"Yeah we do." Tara and Dawn started giggling like crazy. "I'm glad we had this talk."

"Me too."

"You know, anytime you need me ..."

"You'll be there. I know." Dawn gave her a sly wink. "And I'll make sure to always, always knock first."


	2. Sarah

Sarah

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara and possibly Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG

*****************************

"So," Dawn said nervously, "Tara this is Sarah. Sarah, Tara." Dawn laughed. "Hey that rhymes. Anyway she's spending the night. That's ok right?"

Tara gave her a bit of a sly look, but Dawn shook her head to indicate it was not *that*. "Of course. Willow and I were just about to go out. Will you be ok until we get back?"

"Of course. We can order pizza or whatever."

"Then you two have fun. Don't do anything that I wouldn't." Tara gave Sarah a once over. Obviously human, not that Dawn couldn't have taken care of her if she wasn't. Very cute, with long blond hair, green eyes and a few scattered freckles. A clean aura. And she certainly seemed nice enough. Dawn had good taste in women. She extended her hand. "It was nice meeting you Sarah."

"Nice meeting you too," Sarah replied.

Willow rushed down the stairs. "Honey does my hair look like Little Orphan Annie on crack?" She had gotten a tad bit overzealous with the curling iron.

"No, you look fine. We'll just comb it down a little." Tara brushed through the curls with her fingers, loosening them a little. "See, now you look like a redheaded angel."

Willow smiled. "And you should know." As she leaned in to kiss Tara, Willow noticed Sarah for the first time. She pulled back, not wanting to frighten off their house guests with too many gratuitous PDAs. "Hi Dawn's friend."

"Sarah, Willow. Willow, Sarah," Dawn made the introductions.

"Oh hi," she told Sarah. "I'd love to stay and chat, but my little hair fiasco has cost us valuable time, and the movie starts at seven. You two will be alright?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?" Sarah inquired.

"Very thorough parenting," Dawn explained. "We'll be fine. She likes the sunlight, don't you Sarah?"

"Yeah," Sarah answered, not sure what that had to do with anything.

"Then we're off. Bye!" Willow grabbed Tara's hand and the girls rushed out the door.

"Are they your sisters too?" Sarah asked.

"No, they're friends. And they live here."

"Oh, they just seem so ... close."

"Well, they're ..." Dawn hesitated. How Sarah took this news would greatly influence if and when Dawn spilled the news of her own. "They're lovers."

"Wow. Really?" Sarah seemed a little startled. Well, it was better than an ewwww or a lecture about sin.

"Yeah, they're really great together ..."

"So does your sister live here too?"

"Oh. Yes. She's out slay--slaving over burgers right now."

"So, what kind of pizza do you want to order?"

* * *

"That Sarah is a cutie-patootie," Willow commented as they speed walked to the movie theatre. "Too bad Dawn doesn't like girls."

"Yeah. Do you think we have time to grab some popcorn. I don't want to miss the previews."

Willow gave Tara a closer look. She never changed subjects so abruptly. "She doesn't, does she?"

Tara was caught. "Look whoever Dawn likes and doesn't like is her own business."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. I can't believe she didn't tell me."

"Why?"

"Well ... y'know. Moral support."

"Honey." Tara took a break from walking. If they missed the previews, so be it. "Dawn is a teenager. You remember what that's like. You're trying to figure out life and yourself a the same time. If and when she has anything to tell, I'm sure she'll tell you. Give her the space she needs until then."

"Alright," Willow reluctantly agreed. "You know, I always sort of wondered if she might be ..."

"Sweetie!"

"So popcorn? Do you want to get extra butter. I'm sure we can work it off later."

* * *

Dawn and Sarah were sitting watching The Princess Diaries while devouring the Hawaiian pizza. Sarah had explained that it was healthier that way because the pineapple gave you your fruit for the day.

"Not to mention the orange in the orange soda," Dawn joked.

"Nah, that's just sugar and sparkling water. But water is very important. You can't survive without it."

"What about the sugar?"

Sarah took another sip. "It'll keep us up all night!"

"Can you believe that?" Dawn asked. "What, she takes off the glasses and straightens her hair and suddenly she's a hottie? As if she weren't a knock-out before."

"I don't know. I guess guys don't like frizzy hair."

Dawn paused. "I bet they think it's alright."

"So, do you like any of the guys in our class?" Sarah asked.

Uh-oh dangerous territory. "Not really."

"I know what you mean," Sarah agreed. "Most of them are just dorks."

"I did used to like an older guy," she said quite honestly.

"Oooh, how old?"

"Very old. He used to go out with my sister, but he turned out to be a real jerk."

"What did he do?"

Dawn frowned. "You don't want to know."

"Want to fast-forward to the part where she starts messing up the big dinner?"

"Ok." Dawn grabbed took control of the remote.

"I wish I was a princess," Sarah grumbled.

"You should be careful what you wish for," Dawn said. "And if you do make a wish don't tell anyone out loud. Especially if you've just met them."

Sarah gave Dawn a weird look. "Why?"

"Because then it won't come true, duh!" Dawn covered, knowing the exact opposite was the case. "Besides, you don't need to be a princess. I think you're pretty cool the way you are."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Sarah elbowed her. "You're pretty cool yourself. Oh wait, you're going to fast-forward too far! Ooh, I love the part where she breaks the glass." The two girls laughed over the series of slap stick events. When the scene was over, Sarah asked her, "So how come you always skipped school before?"

"I don't know. I don't really like school."

"I don't either, but I want to graduate."

"I know. I have a lot of summer school left to do in order to catch up."

"Did you fail your classes?"

"Just bio and PE."

"PE? Yuck. That's one class I never want to have to take over again."

"Me either," Dawn agreed, "but at least I never went to it in the first place."

"I cannot eat any more pizza!" Sarah groaned, rubbing her stomach.

"Me either." Dawn mentally slapped herself. What was she, a broken record. "I'm so stuffed. But maybe we can have some ice cream later."

"You have ice cream?" Sarah perked up. "That sounds so good. Lead the way, I can make room."

Dawn dug the ice cream out of the freezer for her, and found a clean spoon.

"I normally just eat it out of the carton, but if you want a bowl ..."

"This is fine," Sarah said, taking a bite. "It's good." She offered the spoon to Dawn. Dawn wasn't the slightest bit hungry, but she accepted the spoon took a small taste.

On the bright side, Dawn thought, their lips had both touched the same spoon. It was sort of like a long distance kiss.

"Guess what? Ian asked me out yesterday."

Dawn's heart sank.

"And I was thinking," Sarah continued, unaware of Dawn's sudden depression, "maybe we could make it a double date. He has a brother. And *older* brother."

"Do you like him?" Dawn asked.

Sarah tossed her head around. "Eh, he's ok. But he has a car. A nice car. And it's just a movie, it's not like I have to marry him or anything. What do you say?"

"I'll pass."

Sarah noticed Dawn's shift in mood. "You really don't like high school guys, do you?"

"Not really."

"Well, if you change your mind, let me know."

The kitchen door flew open, and Buffy came in, her shirt slightly ripped from battle. "Dawn, you won't believe it. I had to kill the biggest-"

Dawn cleared her throat loudly and gestured to her friend. Buffy took the hint.

"-cockroach."

Dawn mimed burger motions.

"At the Doublemeat," she concluded. "Have I met you before?" Buffy asked.

"Buffy, this is my friend Sarah. Sarah, this is my sister Buffy."

"Nice name," Buffy commented. "Well girls it's pretty late. Sarah should be getting home before her folks start worrying."

Dawn tried not to show her impatience and embarrassment. "She's spending the night."

"I don't remember you asking me about that."

"I asked Willow and Tara," Dawn replied. She could sense that Buffy was not pleased with that answer. 

Thankfully Buffy chose not to embarrass her further. "Oh. Well it's still high time you too got to bed."

"Right."

Dawn and Sarah got into their PJs. Dawn was ill at ease. She knew that the moment her friend left Buffy would pull out the old "Willow and Tara are not your guardians, I am and how can you invite someone in the house I don't know they could be a vampire" speech. She drifted off to sleep thinking sad thoughts about double dates and lectures.

* * *

"Well?" Tara asked over cornflakes.

"Well what?" Dawn answered.

"Well how did it go with Sarah?"

"Not so well." Dawn slumped down in her seat. "She kept talking about boys. I'd say I'm just about 99% sure she's straight."

"Oh, I'm sorry Dawnie," Tara told her. "But at least you made a new friend."

"I know, but it's hard," Dawn pouted. Tara let her get away with it this time. "You like her, right?"

"I do. I think she's sweet."

"I don't think Buffy likes her very much," Dawn told her.

"Buffy had a hard night and wasn't expecting to meet her. I'm sure she'll love her as soon as she gets to know her." Tara gave Dawn a winning smile.

Dawn couldn't help but smile back. "We did have a lot of fun. And I don't know for sure that she's straight. She could, you know, just be talking about boys because that's what girls are supposed to talk about. She doesn't really like any of the guys in school either."

"Well there you go!"

Dawn had cheered up considerably. "You really like her?"

Tara laughed. "I really do! Now stop worrying about it. You have mush more important things to worry about, like that Bio exam!"

The girls both burst into laughter.


	3. Moving Forward

Moving Forward

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara and possibly Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13

*****************************

Willow and Tara were bringing home their groceries when the redhead froze.

"Honey, what is it?" Tara asked.

"It's Rack's place." Willow's voice was barely audible, hardly more than a whisper.

Tara felt an unusual chill touch her. Indeed, there was the hum of magic around her. Why hadn't she sensed it before? "But I thought Rack was gone."

"Oh he is," Willow said, trying not to think about the way she had rid herself of him. "But his place is enchanted to move around forever, or until someone destroys it. I'm sure he's not ... there are probably just squatters there, or a new warlock - let's go."

Tara took her hand and they sped home.

"You ok baby?" she asked.

"No," Willow answered. "The magic, how come I could still feel it?"

"You had a big attachment to that place, that's why you could sense it. And even if that's not the reason, if you got your powers back, I would trust you."

"You shouldn't." Willow started crying. "I don't deserve it. These last few weeks I've been so happy. But I don't really deserve that either.."

Tara pulled Willow in close to her, protecting her from the storm of emotions that raged about her.

"I forgive you Willow. Everything you did, I forgive you."

"But I hurt people. I killed people. And I tried to end the world ..."

"You were lost in pain and magic. I understand, or at least I think I do. Because if it had been reversed, and you had been shot, I would have been out of my mind as well. I probably would have done worse."

"You wouldn't have," Willow disagreed, "You never would have gone that far."

Tara took her lover's face in her hands. "You have suffered more than any other person I know. But you don't have to anymore. I'm here with you, now and always. We're one. So forget the hurt and let yourself be happy, for me?" Tara pleaded. "This isn't some Greek tragedy where suffering is rewarded. This is life."

It was sound advice, and Willow took it. They began kissing. And kissing. And kissing. The frozen vegetables were long forgotten.

Tara leaned back against the kitchen counter as Willow attacked her lips with a delicious passion. Tara's beautiful breasts were cupped by Willowhands. Willowhands that started traveling slowly southward.

"Hey guys I just stopped by to ... Yowza!"

Xander had dropped by to visit Willow, but realized that Willow was already in the midst of visiting Tara.

The girls didn't even notice at first.

"Um," Xander said, "I'll just come back later after a long, cold shower..." He bumped into one of the grocery bags, and sent apples, a couple of yogurts and a jar of pickles crashing to the floor.

That got their attention.

"I was just going," Xander explained, picking up the fallen food. The apples were a little bruised and the pickle jar was broken. The yogurts had stayed intact.

"Oh. Hi Xander." Tara was blushing a deep crimson. "Let me help you clean that up."

"So I take it you guys were the only ones home? Don't cut yourself on the glass."

Willow handed them a roll of paper towels.

"I think so. We didn't really check." Tara mopped up the mess.

"Oh. Because I wanted to see if Dawn wanted to go to the movies."

Poor guy. Since Anya had left him, he'd been extremely lonely.

"She's out."

"Out out?"

Willow and Tara exchanged a look, and tried not to giggle at the double meaning. "She's over at Sarah's."

"They sure spend a lot of time together," Xander commented.

"Yeah they do. Hey, why don't Will and I go with you?" Tar suggested.

"You sure you want to? I don't want to be a third wheel."

"You're not a third wheel. You're like those little training wheels that support the bike and help it on its way." Willow quickly realized that her metaphor was not as brilliant as intended. "Not that you're little or, you know, like training for anything. What time does that movie start?"

Tara laughed. "We love being around you. You're not any sort of wheel." Tara gave her lover a look that said there was going to be much teasing over the "training" comment.

* * *

"Soy muy estupido!"

"You're stupid? And a guy?" Sarah asked.

"No, this is stupid. Spanish is stupid. I mean when am I going to ever go to Mexico?"

"Well, lots of people go to Tijuana to get drunk," Sarah pointed out.

"I know dos cervesas por favor," Dawn told her.

"You have to learn it to graduate from high school."

Dawn pouted. "I wish they taught Latin. Now that would be useful."

Sarah was confused. "It's like, a dead language."

"Yeah, but lots of interesting things are written in it." Like spells. And slayer lore.

"You're weird," Sarah pointed out.

"I know. I am so over this assignment! Let's do something else."

"Like what?"

Dawn had many interesting things in mind, but suggested none of them. "I don't know."

"We'll I don't know either." Sarah sat in silence for a moment when inspiration struck. "Hey, let me do your hair!" Sarah sat behind Dawn on the bed and started braiding it. "So I'm dumping Ian."

Dawn got a big goofy grin on her face. Yes, yes, yes and a YES!!!

"He actually tried to grope me in the hall the other day. In front of everyone. Can you believe that?"

Dawn could believe that indeed. "And he totaled his car," she added.

"And he totaled his car, which was just about the only interesting thing he had going for him. I guess I'm a free agent now."

"Anyone in mind for the rebound?" Dawn asked, deeply curious.

"Not really. I think your no high school guys policy might be a good one."

Dawn started feeling warm all over, as Sarah finished the first braid and moved on to the next. It was the fourth best news of her life! Things were looking hopeful. Should she tell her? Should she tell her?

"It's an excellent rule," Dawn proclaimed.

"You've really stuck to it too. I know there are lots of guys at school who like you."

Dawn gathered her courage. "Yeah, well I don't like them."

Sarah finished. "Here, turn around, let me look."

Dawn knew the moment had come, to spill everything to her. But as Sarah tucked a few loose strands of hair behind Dawn's ears, her racing pulse drowned out her ability to speak.

"Hey, that's pretty cute on you," Sarah said. "You should wear your hair in braids more of-"

Dawn kissed Sarah. Not a little peck either. If she was going to go out on a limb, she decided, best to go *all* the way out on it.

Sarah pulled away from her.

"What. Are. You. Doing?"

There was no turning back now. "I like you Sarah. I really, really like you."

"Um, right. Ok. You know it's getting really late. Doesn't your sister worry if you're not home by 10:00?"

"You're freaked out, aren't you?" Dawn asked.

"No. No. I just, need to finish studying."

Dawn started panicking. "Are we ok? Tell me we're ok. You're my closest friend, and I don't want this to be all messed up, especially since-"

"Could you leave?" Sarah asked, rather coldly.

"Yeah, I can do that."

Dawn stormed out. Once she reached home, she went into her room and shut the door, crying for the rest of the night.

TBC... (Don't worry, it gets happier!!!!)


	4. the Consequences of Kisses

The Consequences of Kisses

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara and possibly Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13

*****************************

Dawn was fiddling with her locker at school. It was a stubborn one. The lock often stuck, and the only way to open it was to give it a good, hard smack.

Sarah came up to her.

"Can we talk?"

Dawn was still hurt by her supposed friend's reactions the previous night. "I guess."

"Uh, do you want to talk here or ...?"

"We have class in a few minutes. Here is fine."

Sarah took a deep breath. "I want you to know that I'm not going to tell anyone about what happened."

"What a relief," Dawn answered sarcastically.

"I just meant that I've thought it over and I still want to be your friend."

Dawn was offended. "You had to think it over? So you were considering not being my friend?"

"No. Look, I'm saying this all wrong. I want to be friends. Are we friends?"

"Yeah, we're friends." Dawn gave in. Indignity aside, she didn't want to lose Sarah any more than Sarah didn't want to lose her.

Sarah gave her a hug. "Good."

The bell rang.

"Espanol!" they both cried out as they raced to class.

* * *

"She wants to still be friends," Dawn told Tara as she dumped her books out on the table. Tara had picked her up from school.

"See, I told you she'd come around."

Dawn sat down. "The only thing is, I feel bad. Like she's going to expect to attack her or something."

"Love is never easy. I wish I could say otherwise, but I can't." Tara gave her a hug. "But you'll get by. I know you will."

"Thanks," Dawn replied. Whenever she was down, Tara always knew just what to say to make her feel better.

* * *

"You look like a M'fashnick demon," Dawn observed. The girls were trying out an avocado face mask in the Summer's bathroom.

"A what?"

"Uh, nothing. Just an old cartoon I used to watch. Can we wash these off yet?"

"Ten more seconds. Okay ... now."

They washed their faces and retired to Dawn's room.

"So, do my pores look any tighter?" Dawn wondered.

"I guess. They weren't really that untight before. What about mine?"

She looked exactly the same. "Yeah, I think it worked."

"Cool."

"Next time we'll have to try the oatmeal one. It's supposed to exfoliate or something."

Sarah moved a little closer to Dawn on the bed. "Can I ask you something?"

Dawn didn't mind questions, she just never promised to answer them. "Shoot."

"Am I a good kisser?"

Dawn laughed.

"That bad huh?"

"No, no. It's just that was the last question I expected to hear. Um, you were fine. Well, I think so anyway. You weren't exactly all into the kissing me back," Dawn pointed out.

"Well, what if we tried it again? For experimentation's sake."

Dawn was taken aback. More than anything else, she wanted to be kissing Sarah. On the other hand, what good would it do to stir up all those emotions when Sarah was just going to shoot her down? Or was she? It didn't matter. Everything in Dawn was telling her to go for it. "Ok."

Dawn leaned in and kissed Sarah. She loved her lips! They were so soft. She probed a little further, introducing tongues into the mix. They wrestled with each others mouths for a few minutes before coming up for air.

"You're a very good kisser," Dawn announced.

Sarah was breathing a little heavier than usual. "Thanks, you too."

Dawn took a risk. "Do you want to try it again?"   
She was only asking in the name of science of course.

"Sure."

This time Dawn went straight into the french kissing. She eased Sarah back on her bed. It was heaven! She corrected the thought as their limbs intertwined and Dawn felt Sarah's leg pressing between her own. Dawn moved her hand and dared to touch her breast. Softness. Sarah didn't pull away. Perfect. That is, until Buffy walked in.

"Dawn I ... Oh my God." Buffy did a double take. She did another when she realized it was not a boy that Dawn was getting so friendly with. "Oh my God. Dawn, we are having a talk. Right. Now."

Buffy dragged her into the hallway.

"Is there something you want to tell me? Some small piece information you feel like sharing?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "You know, I'm guessing you already figured it out."

"Don't take that tone with me Dawn. Were you ever planning to tell me about your little girlfriend?"

"No," Dawn answered. "She's not my girlfriend. I don't even know if she likes me that way."

"Somehow, I'm kinda thinking she does."

"Well, you don't really know the situation," Dawn told her, impatient away from her sister.

"Why don't you tell me about it?"

"Because it's none of your business!" Dawn snapped back.

Buffy had had just about enough of the attitude. "You're too young to be having sex!"

"I am not even having sex! Besides, you were having sex at my age."

"I was seventeen, not sixteen, and we all know how well that turned out."

"You're such a hypocrite," Dawn grumbled on.

"That's it. You're grounded!" Buffy declared.

"What?!"

"You're grounded."

"Fine. Can I go and make sure Sarah is alright?"

Buffy felt her resolve softening. "You have five minutes. Leave the door open."

When Dawn went back in her room she noticed that Sarah had gotten together her stuff.

"I think I should go."

"You ok?"

"Yeah. You?"

Dawn shrugged.

"Well, see ya," Sarah told her in parting.

"See ya."


	5. Hide and Seek

Hide and Seek

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara and Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13

*****************************

Dawn was lying on her bed staring at the ceiling. If you looked long enough you could notice all sorts of things: the thin crack left over from one of the apocalyptic earthquakes, the way that shadows and chipped paint turned one corner of the room into a face, and of course the way it absolutely sucked to have an overbearing sister who punished you for (almost) no reason. A tapping sound made her look up. Sarah was outside her window. Dawn opened the window and let her in.

"What are you doing here?" Dawn asked.

"Funny you should ask that. I know you're in trouble and can't have friends over or answer the phone, but I really had to see you."

Dawn was unsure whether to feel excited or nervous. She settled for a combination of both.

Sarah began pacing. "I know I've been acting kind of strange, but I'm scared. See the thing is, I never thought I would like girls. It just never even occurred to me. I mean that's not something you grow up expecting, right? And I never had really liked a girl before I met you. But then the more I got to know you, the more I liked you. And I mean *like* like, not like. I sort of thought that maybe it would go away, but then again, I'm not so sure I want it to. So I was thinking that maybe we could be girlfriends? That is, if your sister doesn't ban me from the house." Sarah gave Dawn a smile that melted her heart.

"That is so great." It was a lame response, but the best that Dawn could come up with her heart fluttering all over the place.

Dawn and Sarah started kissing each other again. Their mouths mingled in blissful anticipation of things to come. Hands inched cautiously towards uncharted territory. The door opened. 

This time the interrupter was not Buffy.

"My fault for not knocking," Tara told them. "I'm going to forget I just saw that and come back in a minute."

She walked back outside and closed the door.

"I'll see you at school on Monday," Dawn said.

"Yeah, see you then," Sarah replied.

The girls shared several last, desperate kisses, their lips reluctant to part. Dawn gave Sarah a final smooch good bye, and watched her climb back out the window.

Tara knocked loudly.

"Come in."

Tara sat down by her, a smile stealing its way onto her face, even though she knew she shouldn't be encouraging disobedient behavior. "I'm glad things are working out for you two."

Dawn beamed. "I have a girlfriend!"

"Dawnie, that's wonderful! Though this may not be the wisest meeting place at the moment."

"I need a lock on the door," Dawn muttered. "Although I doubt *Buffy* will let me get one."

" You should go easier on your sister," Tara told her. "She's not an ogre you know."

"Of course not," Dawn explained. "I've fought ogres. They have an excuse."

Tara was patient. "She's doing the best she can to take care of you."

"But it's so unfair!"

"Why don't you tell her that?"

"Because," Dawn said, "that would require speaking to her, which I have vowed never to do again."

"If you want her to treat you like an adult, show her that you are one. Don't whine or complain. Simply explain the situation to her. She's bound to come around."

A gleam of hope entered Dawn's eyes. "Would you talk to her for me?"

Tara shook her head. "Dawnie, this is your problem, not mine. And as much as I want to see you happy, I can't go interfering in the way you are disciplined. That's up to your sister."

Dawn slumped back on her pillow.

"Talk to Buffy," Tara advised.

"No."

Tara sighed. "I hope you change your mind. And do me a favor ok? Don't give her cause to ground you further. That's my girl." After planting a kiss on her forehead, Tara left Dawn alone to sulk.

* * *

Dawn was getting a book out of her locker when she spotted Sarah walking over. Dawn smiled and waves, dropping her book in the process. She tried to appear cool, calm and collected as she mentally cursed her clumsiness and bent over to pick the volume up.

"Hey," Sarah said.

"Hey."

Dawn straightened up and tucked the book away in her bag, before it could cause any more mischief. They both hesitated, unsure of the proper high school hallway etiquette in such situations as theirs. Not yet ready to declare their romance to entire world, they settled for a hug that lingered on longer than one of "just friends." Sarah slid her hand down Dawn's arm until their fingers met and tightly clasped. A rousing rendition of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" began to play in Dawn's psyche.

"Lets meet up tonight!" Sarah suggested.

Dawn was unsure of the wisdom behind that. "We might get caught. I don't know ..."

"C'mon," Sarah said with a playful pout. "It's either tonight or skip class and sneak into the boiler room or something. And we'll definitely get in trouble for that."

Dawn couldn't miss any more classes. Her councilor was constantly throwing around phrases like, "suspension", "child services" and "academic probation."

She tried to figure out the best way to explain. "The thing is, it's dangerous to be wandering around at night, there are all sorts of ... loonies."

Sarah shrugged, unconcerned. "So what? There are loonies everywhere."

"Not like the ones we have in Sunnydale."

Sarah tried a different tactic. "I'll make it worth your while."

"How worth my while?" Dawn asked.

Sara grinned.

Nightfall could not come soon enough. "I'll be there! Just don't wander off without me, ok?"

* * *

Dawn told the others she wasn't hungry and then went up to her room. She made herself cute as possible, brushing her long, brown hair and putting on her favorite blue shirt, the one with the butterfly on it. The thought of leaving some sort of decoy behind in her bed crossed her mind, but she decided against it. If Buffy caught her, she caught her. What was she going to do, ground her more? She slid out of her window into the night air. Sarah was waiting for her on the ground below.

"Glad you could make it," the blond said, greeting her with a peck on the lips.

"Where to?" Dawn asked.

"Where else? The Bronze."

Dawn hesitated. "And if my sister's friends stop by?"

Sarah caught her drift. "How about the park? You know, pretty trees everywhere, the stars twinkling up above."

"What about your house?" Dawn suggested.

Sarah shook her head. "I'm not allowed to have friends over this late on school days. Or we could always go to the cemetery-"

"The park it is!" Dawn announced.

The couple strolled along, enjoying the effect that the crisp night air against their warm, intertwined fingers.

"So I was thinking we should go to the dance," Sarah proposed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it'll be great. We can get all pretty and boogie till we drop. Whadda you say?"

"Sure," Dawn answered. "I should be able to get myself out of trouble by then."

"I don't know," Sarah told her, a grin plastered on her face. "Trouble can be kind of fun."

They began making out intensely. Dawn pulled her girlfriend to a bench, where they lay back, their lips and hands never parting.

A twig snapped.

Dawn bolted upright, smacking noses with Sarah.

"Ouch!" they both cried out.

"Sorry about that," Dawn apologized. "I just thought I heard ..." She noticed a group of three vampires closing in on them, all in game face. "...something."

Dawn pulled a stake and a cross out of her pocket. She handed the latter to Sarah.

"Here, take this."

Sarah eyed it skeptically. "Religious fanatic much?"

Dawn groaned. "Just trust me on this, ok? And get back. I can handle this."

Dawn staked the first one easily. It was a large vamp who obviously was not used to helpless-looking females fighting back. The second gave her more trouble. After seeing what she had done to his buddy, the vampire flipped Dawn over onto her back. The landed with a hard thud on the ground. Dawn alternated between kicking it in the hear and punching it in the face. The vampire did not appreciate being turned into an undead punching bag, and scrambled off of her long enough for her to climb to her feet. She had but a moment to get her bearings before the vampire began trying to strangle her.

She was about to stake the foul creature when she heard Sarah scream. The third, female, vampire had the blond pinned beneath her and was going in for a bite.

Dawn tossed the stake in Sarah's direction.

"Catch!" she told Sarah, as the wooden weapon fell a few inches from her fingertips. Sarah reached for it and reached for it ...

Suddenly, it flew of it's own accord into Sarah's hand. Dawn didn't take the time to wonder how.

"Aim for the heart!" she told her.

Sarah staked the vampire, which exploded into dust above her. Dawn kneed her vampire in the groin and impaled him on a tree branch. He also vaporized.

"Um Dawn, what is going on?" a bewildered Sarah dared to ask.

"Well, it's a long story. Did you watch a lot of monster movies growing up?"

* * *

"Am I'm being unfair with her?" Buffy asked.

Willow and Tara exchanged a knowing glance.

"Well..." Willow began.

"I am, aren't I? I totally over reacted, right?"

"Well..."

"Then again, Mom would have done the same, you know? I mean she had a major wiggins when she found out about me and Angel."

"Well..."

"Not that that was the same thing, because this is different. Sort of."

"True..."

"But," Buffy pointed out, "if I let her off the hook now it'll almost be like rewarding her for ignoring me. So what kind of message is that going to send, huh? How can I get her to respect me if I start backing down?"

"Buffy..." Tara cut in.

"On the other hand-"

"Buffy!!!" That got the slayer's attention. Tara continued on, "It'll be fine. You're doing fine. You two just need to talk things out and set some ground rules. It'll all work out, I promise you."

A wave of jealousy washed over Buffy, mixed with a splash of awe. "I don't know how you do it. You came back all good and happy and optimistic to a fault. I came back and I'm the Wicked Witch of the West."

"As the only person here who has actually been a wicked witch, I must object," Willow said.

"There are important differences between us Buffy. I wanted to come back, I even fought for it. You were happy where you were. I had my soul mate to come back to. You're still looking for yours."

"Or already found but lost him to s gypsy curse," Buffy grumbled.

"Angel?" Willow asked.

"Yes of course Angel! What, can you imagine Spike with a soul? How lame would that be?"

"You'll find yours," Tara reassured her, "and you'll be a great mother to Dawn. Just have faith."

"Thanks." Buffy gave Tara a hug. Her eyes strayed towards Dawn's room. "If only the monks could have left an instruction manual." She headed up the stairs to have a sisterly heart to heart.

Buffy was back a moment later. "She's gone! Dawn's gone!" Buffy grabbed her coat.

"Where are you going?" Willow asked.

Buffy should have thought that was obvious. "To find her and drag her sorry ass back."

"Wait Buffy-" Tara told her.

"For what?" Buffy cut her off. "For Dawn to get herself killed? This is a pattern. She doesn't get the benefit of the doubt any more. No benefit for Dawnie."

"It's just that that could take all night," Tara explained. "There may be an easier way."

Willow looked at her lover. Was she suggesting ...?

Tara saw the look. "I understand if you need to leave honey. If it'll be too hard for you."

"No, I'll be ok," Willow assured her. "I don't really care for magic anymore. Even if I could do it again, I wouldn't."

Tara sat down on the floor cross-legged and began to chant.

* * *

"So," Sarah said, badly shaken, "I'm getting that vampires are real. Kinda had to deal with that one head on. But demons and werewolves and witches?"

"And mummies and monsters and succubae ..."

"Whoa." Sarah tried to take it all in. "And fairies?"

"What about them?" Dawn asked.

"Well, they're real right? Cuz there's one right behind you."

Dawn turned and saw a familiar speck of light dancing around her. "That? That's Tara."

Sarah frowned. "Tara's a fairy?"

"No, she's a witch. She must have sent out her essence to find us. I'll be home in a minute, ok?" she told the light. It bounced up and down and sped away into the night. "We should go."

* * *

Tara gasped as she reentered her body.

"They were in the park. They're on their way back," Tara informed them.

Buffy and Willow stared back at her as if she had grown a second head. Tara felt above her shoulders, just to be on the safe side. She lived on the Hellmouth, anything could happen.

"You ... you're ok!" Willow said, rushing to hug her. "I was so worried."

"Honey, I've done the spell before-"

"But you glowed." Willow's voice shook. "You became light. It lit up the entire room. Nothing like that had ever happened before."

Tara furrowed her brow. "Must be something left over from my Goddess powers. Hmm... I wonder what other of my powers have changed?"

Dawn and Sarah came in the front door. Buffy rushed over to them.

"Are you insane, or are you just irresponsible?" Buffy scolded. "How could you put yourself and your friend in danger like that. You know what kind of mons- um, creeps are out at night!"

"She knows," Dawn told them.

"I know," Sarah said softly.

"You told her?" Buffy asked in amazement.

"Well, it was kind of obvious after the gang of vampires attacked us."

Buffy was impressed in spite of herself. "You took on a gang of vampires?"

"*We* did. Sarah killed one too."

"Yeah, it turned into dust and everything. It was sort of cool," Sarah added.

"And I think she might be a witch. Either that or whatever you call it from that movie, Carrie. She made the stake move without even touching it!"

Tara examined the girl. "Have you been able to move things before?"

"A few times," Sarah admitted, "but not very far and only if I'm really emotional. I always just figured I had imagined it."

"Then perhaps you should study with me," Tara offered, "and we'll see if we can't fine-tune your powers, whatever they may be."

Sarah was game. "Cool."

Buffy extended her hand. "Welcome to the Scooby Gang. But it's late, and I'm sure your parents are getting worried. Willow, Tara - would you be kind enough to walk Sarah home?"

When they were at last alone, Dawn braced herself for a fight. "You were really great with Sarah tonight," she told Big Sis.

"I'm glad you thought so." Buffy gave her a stern look. "Of course I don't have to tell you how badly you screwed up tonight."

"Under house arrest until I'm forty?" Dawn guessed.

"No, but we're talking serious probation here. Run off again, and you'll be grounded until you're fifty! You catch my drift?"

Dawn nodded. "Drift caught. Wait, probation? Does that mean I can leave the house and answer the phone and stuff?"

"Yes, as long as you let me know where and when you go out and listen to me if I forbid you to do something, ok?"

"And Sarah?"

Buffy gave a slight smile. "You can go out. I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm thrilled about it, but then again I wouldn't be any more thrilled if it were a guy putting moves on my baby sister. And she *is* a nice girl."

Dawn let out a scream of job and hugged Buffy tight.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll be good, I really will. No more sneaking around, I swear."

"I just want to be a part of your life, ok? It hurts when you shut me out."

"I won't, I won't," Dawn promised. "I'll be tell-all Dawn." She gave her another hug. "You're the best. Oh my God, you have to help me pick out my Twerp's dance dress!"

Buffy, not for the first time in her lives, wondered what she had gotten herself into.


	6. The Moon To The Tide

The Moon To The Tide

The Hardest Thing ... Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Description: Willow/Tara, Willow/Oz FRIENDSHIP and Dawn/Sarah.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13, Bordering on R

*************************************************************

"Well, what do you think?" Dawn asked.

"You look stunning," Sarah said, completely sincere.

The girls were trying on dresses at Express. The gown that had caught Dawn's eye was floor length and made of blue satin.

"Really?"

"Really," Sarah affirmed. She gave Dawn a little peck on the lips.

Dawn grinned. "I like it too. But were you going to go with the pink one?"

"I don't know, maybe. It might be a little too fluffy though. However Reese Witherspoon was right. Pink is a blonde's best color."

Dawn considered the situation at hand. "Then I don't know about this one. I mean blue and pink just seem so boy-girl. And why do I have to be the butch one?"

Sarah laughed. "You are soooo not butch Dawn. Anyone who spends an hour on their make up-"

"I get the point," Dawn grumbled.

"And God knows how long on their hair-"

"Shut up!" Dawn protested, laughing herself. She silenced Sarah's lips with another kiss. This one lasted a little longer.

"What if I go with the purple and you get that one in silver? There are no preconceived gender biases attached to those colors, right?" Sarah suggested.

"Ok. I am going to be so broke after this."

"You'll be broke, but at least you'll look all pretty," Sarah pointed out.

"Yeah. If I hadn't had to pay back all the stuff I swiped last year, it wouldn't be an issue."

"Why did you steal it?"

Dawn shrugged. "Don't know. Was bored I guess. And I was sort of hoping that Buffy might notice. She was so distracted with-" Dawn's voice trailed off.

"What? Slaying?"

"Sure." Dawn knew full well that that had not been what was distracting Buffy. "Anyway, I stopped doing it. I'm clean. No more life of crime for me."

"Well good!"

Dawn was fiddling with her zipper. It was stuck.

"Here, let me get that," Sarah offered. She fiddled with the pesky thing until she got it unjammed. As she slid the zipper down, it occurred to both of them that they were getting fairly naked in front of each other. With an innocent cause of course, but that still didn't change the fact ...

Sarah laid a tentative kiss on Dawn's neck. She in turn responded by turning around and kissing Sarah passionately. Sarah wrapped her arms around Dawn's neck, pulling her closer. Dawn helped Sarah out of her dress as well. The intensity between them growing, Dawn even dared to unhook Sarah's bra and start kissing her breast.

Sarah's mind was going a million miles an hour. Oh my God, she thought. What are we ... are we going to? Here? Oh my God.

There was a knock on the dressing room door. "How are you doing in there?" the salesgirl asked, completely unaware of the proceedings she was interrupting.

"Um, fine," Sarah answered, trying very hard not to laugh.

"Do you need any other sizes?" the salesgirl offered.

"No!" they both answered back.

"Ok, just let me know if you need anything." The salesgirl left, provoking a storm of giggles from the two girls.

Dawn refastened Sarah's bra. "Perhaps we should continue this later somewhere a little less..."

"Public?" Sarah finished.

"Yeah."

They rung up their purchases and headed towards the exit.

"Wait!" Dawn told her as they passed Claire's. "I'll be back in a minute." She emerged a few minutes later with a little box, which she presented to Sarah.

"Aw, you didn't have to. Besides I thought you were broke."

"I am. Now. Go on, open it."

Sarah followed instructions. It was a little silver cross necklace.

"It's actually more of a safety precaution than anything else," Dawn explained, "sort of like Sunnydale mace."

Sarah was truly touched. "It's beautiful." She put it on. "I love it."

The gift earned Dawn another kiss.

A few passerbys gave them dirty looks.

"C'mon it's 2002!" Dawn hollered at them. "Stupid homophobes," she muttered.

Sarah felt increasingly uncomfortable. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

"How was shopping?" Buffy asked as they walked in the door. She noticed they were carrying bags. "Oooh, let's see what you got."

They pulled out their purchases. Buffy approved. "Very nice. And you have receipts for everything?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Paid in full. Do you want to see them?"

"No, I trust you."

"Right," Dawn said.

"So, what are you two-"

"We're going to go work on this thing called homework. Up in my room. With the door open," she told her sister.

"Oh. Ok. Have fun."

The girls headed up the stairs to do just that.

"That was kind of harsh," Sarah said.

"I'm just tired of her acting like I'm some ticking time bomb. Like I'm going to get in trouble any minute. What, you're not taking her side, are you?"

"No." Sarah had many reasons to feel motivated to support Dawn's side. "It just seems like maybe you ought to give *her* a chance, y'know, to give *you* a chance."

"You haven't forgotten that she totally wigged about the two of us being together, right?"

"No, it's just-"

"Let's drop it ok? She's my problem. Besides-" Dawn cringed. "Algebra calls."

* * *

Buffy thought she might be going a little crazy, because everywhere she went, she kept thinking she glimpsed a flash of platinum. It was ridiculous though. Spike was gone, he was probably never going to come back. Even if he did come back, he would know better than to mess with her. Not to mention, why was she thinking about Spike anyway? It was a waste of valuable Buffy brain cells. It was not like she still cared about him at all anymore. Much. Well maybe a little.

Buffy staked a vampire. Why was he haunting her so? Hadn't he done enough damage? Why did he have such power over her? She finished off the other one. The second vamp exploded in a cloud of dust.

Tired and sweaty, Buffy headed home. As always, as soon as she walked in the door, her first stop was the fridge. She was in the process of making herself a manly sized ham sandwich when Sarah walked in.

"Oh, hi!" Sarah said. "I didn't know you were here."

"Just got back," Buffy informed her. She gestured to her selection of pre-sliced meats. "Want a sandwich or anything?"

Sarah shook her head. "I was just getting a soda. For Dawn. We've been studying. Purely academic. With the door open."

Buffy had to smile at how nervous her sister's little friend was being. "It's ok. I hope you're looking for sprite, cuz this is the last diet coke, and I am drinking it." Buffy popped open the can and took a sip.

"Yeah, that's fine." Sarah grabbed one and began to head towards Dawn's room when a second thought struck her. "I know it doesn't always seem like it, but she doesn't mean to be difficult. She loves you a lot. I think she's just afraid of losing you again, though she would never ever admit it." Sarah gave her a shy smile.

Buffy was touched. "Thanks for letting me know."

Sarah knew she should leave it at that, but her nerves had frozen her in place and temporarily deactivated the shutoff switch to her mouth. "I know it's gotta be hard for you and all. You didn't ask to be her mother. You didn't ask to be the slayer either. And dying and all, I can't imagine what that was like. So I wanted to let you know that you're doing a great job. You probably hear that a lot, but I thought I'd tell you that anyway."

Buffy was touched. "No, I actually don't hear that so much. Thank you."

"Well I'll let you get back to the food!" Sarah tried to pry herself away, lest she ramble on and on incessantly.

"Wait a minute. It's late, I'll walk you home."

"Oh, ok. Uh, I'll go say goodnight to Dawn." She took two steps before she realized she had forgotten something. "Oh yeah, the soda." She ran up the stairs.

Buffy found herself actually liking Sarah. True, she may have just been doing some serious brown-nosing to butter up her honey's big sister, but Buffy somehow didn't think so. There was sincerity behind those green eyes. And she noticed things, little things that Buffy's own friends hadn't even picked up on. Maybe her and Dawn dating wasn't such a bad thing after all.

Dawn came down with Sarah, pausing to kiss her at the foot at the stairs. Buffy frowned, as a good portion of her fears returned. Their was an intensity between them, much like passion she had shared with Angel, just before ... The two of them were getting in way over their heads. She hoped to God or Goddess as the case may be, that neither of them was going to wind up hurt, although she doubted she could do anything to prevent it.

"See you at school tomorrow," Dawn told Sarah in a love-struck tone.

"C'mon, let's go," Buffy told the other blond, extremely ill at ease.

* * *

"So, what did you think of the class?" Willow asked, dumping her highly overpriced selection of schoolbooks on the bed.

"Um, it was long? I'm just not sure if I want to be auditing classes right now," Tara told her.

"Well, you're probably just frustrated. You've got a lot of catching up to do," Willow pointed out.

"Yeah, dying right before finals was probably a bad idea."

Willow gripped Tara's hand so tight it almost hurt. The smallest mention of Tara's death always gave her a panic attack. 

"Sorry honey. It's just ... there should be certain exceptions made. Like that movie, Dead Man on Campus, where if your roommate died you got straight A's."

"Yeah, but that was a movie, and a lame one at that. Who decided MTV should make movies anyway? Yeck!"

"There are other complications," Tara went on, "like how to re-enroll. Do I just tell them there was a mistake and I was in a coma for a few months? Besides, I think that maybe there are things I'd prefer to do with my time."

"Like what?" Willow wanted to know.

"Like teach."

"Uh, hello?" Willow raised her hand. "Credentials needed."

"I meant magic. Things are going great with Sarah. You should see her. She's picking up everything so fast. And I'm not going to learn anything about Wicca at UC Sunnydale, that's for sure." Tara was so excited about her newfound vocation that she took her a while to realize how uncomfortable Willow had become. "Wait, what's wrong? Oh Goddess, it's the magic-"

"I'm the one with the problem," Willow told her, slightly defensive. "Me. Capital M, capital E! You shouldn't deprive yourself on my account."

"Look if it bothers you I can stop. I asked you to, it's only fair that I offer to do the same. Forget it, back to plan A. Maybe you're right. I mean teaching credentials - I could teach kindergarten or something," Tara suggested

"No, it's important to you. And Sarah needs instruction. After all, we don't want anything accidentally going boom, do we?"

"No we don't want that." Tara smiled. "She's doing wonderfully. I'll turn her into a great witch yet, just you wait and see."

"I'm sure you will."

Tara frowned. "Why so moody? Are you sure it isn't the magic?"

"No, not really. It's just -" Willow took a deep breath. "You really like kids don't you?"

"Of course. Thought Dawnie and Sarah hardly qualify as kids anymore. Young ladies is more like it." She sighed. "They're growing up so fast."

"I mean, you're almost like a mother to them - forget it, it's stupid." Willow rushed out of the room.

Tara followed to find Willow leaning against the wall, holding back tears.

"What's troubling you? What's the matter?" Tara applied a light pressure to Willow's tummy, rubbing it in a way she knew always soothed her lover.

"Tara, does it ever make you sad that we can't, you know, have kids of out own?" Willow asked her sadly.

Sensing her insecurity, Tara did everything in her power to soothe Willow's fears away. "Honey, what we have - I wouldn't give it up or trade it for ANYTHING."

Willow was unconvinced. "That's not what I asked."

Tara leaned her forehead against the beautiful red-head's. "Yes, I would one day like kids. But there are more important things. How long have you been worrying about this?"

"Not long. Just since, well, a few years. I know we're still all young and all, but when I see you with the girls-"

"You get ideas."

"And I sort of think that, y'know, we'll never have that. And it's something I want for the two of us some day."

"Well," Tara offered hesitantly, "there are ways..."

"We could always ask Xander," Willow said, a slight smirk chasing away the gloom that plagued her.

Tara made a face. "He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but I'm not so sure I'd want little Xanders running around. I suppose Giles. I mean, he's a little more ... sophisticated. Not to mention book smart."

"Might be weird for him to be having kids at his age. Hmmm... and Angel's a vampire. Our assortment of male friends would appear to be quite limited."

"There's always Oz," Tara told her, her voice quiet.

Willow froze in her tracks. "Oz? Um, no. Not going to go there. That would be waaay too bizarre and weird. Besides, I haven't even spoken to him since the day we got together."

Tara gathered her strength. "Maybe it's time you did. Not about a baby, that's all hypothetical anyway." She gently stroked Willow's hair. "But you're healing your past right now Will, the good parts, the bad parts and all the parts that fall in-between."

"He didn't exactly leave a forwarding address," Willow pointed out.

"But you have a connection, right?"

"Not like we have," Willow assured her.

"So he should know if you need him."

"Even if he did know, I doubt he'd come here. He probably hates me because of, well, us. He couldn't even look at me ..."

"I doubt he hates you." Tara found it hard to believe that anyone could hate her red-headed angel. Well except for maybe Warren... "He was just sad and upset. How could he not be over losing you? No one else could ever compare with my Willow."

Deeply moved, Willow kissed Tara, who pulled her in for a huge hug. Passion quickly mounted between them. Tara's kisses strayed from Willow's lips to her forehead and then traveled back to her delicious lips again. Her hands slipped under Willow's shirt, to unhook her bra swiftly and deftly. Willow lowered her self to Tara's slightly exposed tummy knowing full well it was her most ticklish spot. She kissed it, causing Tara to giggle and moan at the same time. She again, returned to Tara's lips, her favorite part on Tara. Well, one of her favorite parts. They were just reaching the critical "need to get behind closed doors" portion of their foreplay when Sarah stumbled across them.

She had come in the front door, which always seemed to be unlocked, without knocking. Never in he wildest dreams had she expected to stumble across the two of them so cozy. "I am so sorry!"

They pulled apart and Tara gave Willow a look that said the fun was not over, just merely delayed.

"It's ok. We're sorry," Tara apologized. "The hallway isn't exactly labeled lovers' lane. Have you come by for training or to see Dawn?"

Willow, not yet discouraged, still held fast to Tara. She shifted so that she was hugging her from behind, wrapping her arms around Tara's cute little stomach, giving it a brief tickle. She nuzzled her cheek against her lover's.

Sarah knew it was impolite to stare, so she attempted not to. "Well I had sorta come for both, but if you two want to be alone..."

Tara had to fight to keep in control, as Willow laid a small kiss on her neck.

"Great, why don't you and Dawnie have fun, and then you can come by for your training in a little while?"

Willow was offended. "A little while?"

"Um, later this evening?" Tara corrected.

Willow grinned seductively. "That sounds more like it." She gave Tara's ear a quick nibble.

Tara could hold out no longer. "Ok bye!"

Willow grabbed her by the hand and pulled her into the bedroom. Sarah caught a glimpse of them kissing and Tara beginning to lift off Willow's shirt as the blond witch kicked the door shut.

Sarah headed to Dawn's room.

"Hey," Dawn said, giving her a peck on the lips. "Are you ok? You look all flushed."

"I sort of , um, walked into the middle of Willow and Tara-"

"Oh. I probably should have warned you that they're pretty big with the PDA's. But trust me, it's much better than the alternative, no DA's. When they broke up - well let's just say that I have never seen two more miserable people which is saying a lot since this town is pretty much angst central."

Sarah was curious. "Why'd they break up?"

"Willow got sort of hooked on magic. It was this thing. It doesn't matter. Willow's better. They're better."

"I'm glad. It's kind of nice. Not that I'm looking for a free show or anything, but to see two girls in love. Well, it's not like you really see that a lot at school or on TV ..."

"How about after school hours?" Dawn offered, her intentions anything but pure.

"What about Buffy?" Sarah asked, concerned.

"Working at the Doublemeat. We've got some time. And Willow and Tara should be preoccupied. That is unless you don't want to?"

"No, I do ... we're talking about kissing, right?" Sarah got that butterfly-ie feeling in her belly again.

"No silly, we're talking about homework. Of course we're talking about kissing! Come to think about it, why are we talking?" Dawn pulled Sarah in for a snog. Sarah tried Tara's trick of kicking the door shut, but only succeeded in stubbing her toe.

"Ow," she said, breaking into laughing.

"Let me get that," Dawn offered, shutting it, and leading her to the bed for future smoochage.

* * *

"I need you to concentrate," Tara instructed.

Sarah furrowed her brow. "I'm trying."

Tara had taken Willow's cue and started with floating small objects. However, she felt that starting with a pencil was a good way for someone to loose an eye, so she had decided to go with a safer, softer eraser. Sarah was doing well for a beginner. The eraser was indeed floating, l but it was wobbling quite a bit.

"Look, we can take a break if you'd like..."

"No," Sarah said. "I'm good. I can do this, really I can. I just need to' feel the force Luke' or whatever."

"It took Willow a long time to perfect this too."

"It's so much easier when I was wigging out. I mean when that vampire tried to hurt Dawn..." Sarah's words were halted as she ducked to avoid the eraser that shot towards her. It bounced back and forth between the walls of the training room like a game of Pong set on turbo speed. Tara dove to the floor, and Sarah followed suit. Finally it slowed to a halt and dropped to the ground.

Tara and Sarah got to their feet. "And that would be why we don't want our emotions controlling our magic. It can make our spells stronger true, but it also makes them unpredictable," Tara explained.

"So I see."

"Never go for the easy way out of a situation. Never use magic when there's a way to do something with out it. A good witch has to earns her influence over the elements."

"For fear leads to anger, and anger leads to the dark side," Sarah concluded.

"Listen to the muppet," Tara had to agreed. "Sometimes crossing a line can help a situation, but if you cross that line too many times, it disappears altogether."

"Is that when you get addicted to dark magic?"

Tara grew uncomfortable. "It's different for everyone. Willow went through a lot. It was very hard for her. It still is."

"But what you two have is more important." Sarah smiled. "I'm glad you two are together. I can't imagine you apart."

"It was hard. Very hard. But when you love someone, you sometimes have to be hard on them to help them."

"Yeah, I know," Sarah told her, considering a few things.

"What's with all the serious talk?"

"I'm sorry if I was prying, I was just ... wondering about a few things."

"That's ok, you can ask me anything. I want you to know that," Tara said.

Sarah got up the nerve to ask Tara one of the questions that had been bouncing around in her head. "So, how did you come out?"

"My mother never knew. She died before I got the chance to tell her. The rest of my family ... well let's say we were never that close before, and my being gay didn't help matters."

"Oh." That wasn't the cheery, all accepting and all open story Sarah had been hoping for.

"But my friends were wonderful about it. I mean Buffy and the others, it took time, but they let me into their little circle. Why, are you thinking of coming out?"

"I am. It's just that my parents -- I don't want them to hate me. I don't want anyone to. But I don't like lying about it either."

"Well, maybe you should wait." Sarah looked up at her with surprised eyes. "I know that sounds horrible, but I know a lot of people who waited until they could support themselves financially."

"No way am I gonna be able to keep it a secret that long!"

"Well, if you decide to tell them and things go badly, at worse case scenario you could always stay here."

"Yeah," she snorted. "Buffy would LOVE that."

"It doesn't matter. No matter what happens with Dawn, no matter what happens with Buffy, you are always welcome in my home, ok?"

Sarah felt a good deal better. "Ok."

"I also was wondering about ..."

"Yes."

"Well, um, about ..."

"What?"

"Um..."

Tara caught on to the nature of the subject matter. "Oh, I see. Are you and Dawn?"

"No. Not yet. But we've been getting close. Real close. And I think we're going to. And I don't really know ... I mean they sort of glossed over the lesbian chapter in Sex Ed."

"Don't I know it." Tara thought back to her first, fumbling experience with a girl. "What would you like to know?"

"Well, um, what exactly do you do when you're with , um, a girl?"

"Have a seat. I think the magic portion of your education for the day is over."

* * *

Willow was perousing through the used CD's at Second Spin. She had been hoping to find Michelle Branch's Album dirt cheap. It wasn't there, and although her search turned up a tempting copy of Songs in the Key of Springfield, Willow decided to pass, deciding her money might better be spent on mochas with Tara.

"Hey, didn't you used to be in Dingo's Ate My Baby?" The clerk asked behind her.

Willow froze.

"Yeah," a familiar voice answered. "But that was a long time ago."

"What ever happened to you guys?" The clerk wanted to know.

"Well we sort of broke up on account that we sucked."

Willow's heart skipped a beat. "Oz."

Oz spotted her for the first time. He stared at her in a daze, like he was seeing a ghost. "Willow."

"That sucks, you know I think we still have a demo somewhere in the ba- Hey dude, you listening to me?"

"No," he answered.

Willow went over to him. "How long ... I mean when did you ... How are th..." she searched for a conversation opener. "So can I hug you, or are you going to go all wolfy?"

"No, a hug would be good. I'll give you my no wolf guarantee."

Willow wrapped her arms around him and gave him a squeeze. He hugged her back.

"Did you know I was just thinking about you?"

"There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of you," he responded. Willow didn't know what to make of that. Oz rarely used that many words in a sentence.

"It's really good to see you. We should talk."

" When?"

"Well how about tonight? You could stop by and we could grab dinner or something. No burgers though." Buffy's plentiful free food from work had made Willow unable to eat any meat flavored substance shaped into patties ever again."

"Right, it's a date."

Willow flinched a little at the word. Oz picked up on it.

"So how is ...?" Oz had never caught her girlfriend's name.

"Tara. She's great. She's a goddess," Willow said truthfully.

"I'm glad. I wasn't sure if you would want to see me."

"Of course I did. Of course I wanted to see you. You're a huge part of my life Oz. My being gay doesn't take that all away or nullify it."

"I'm glad. So when should I pick you up?"

"Tonight at 8:00. Buffy's place. Well, I live there now."

Oz raised an eyebrow. 

"Purely in a platonic way," she clarified.

"8:00 it is."

* * *

"Hey Dawnie, what's up?" Willow asked.

"The price of gas," Dawnie answered, staring blankly at the television screen.

"Where's Tara?"

"Upstairs in your guys's room. Oh, but I wouldn't barge in right now," she warned as she saw Willow edge in that direction. "She's teaching Sarah about glamours today. The one time I interrupted a spell, Giles turned a wall blue, so unless you want our girlfriends coming out looking like smurfs..."

"Gotcha, drift caught." Willow began pacing back and forth, her nerves all a jitter.

"Are you ok?" Dawn couldn't help picking up on the red-head's impatience.

"Yeah, fine," Willow told her, lying through her teeth. "Don't you have homework to do?"

"I'm waiting for Sarah. We always study together. There's something about a cute blond that always makes me feel oddly motivated, you know?"

"I don't suppose you'd want to get a head start on it?"

"Not really." Dawn gestured to the television, where Scooby Doo was playing. "Talking dog."

"Great. I'm gonna go chop some vegetables."

"Why, are you cooking something?"

"No," Willow answered. "I just feel like cutting something to pieces."

* * *

Tara and Sarah emerged from the room a couple of hours later.

"I don't know why people use hair dye," Sarah said. "I mean magic is less damaging, not to mention fade resistant."

"I don't know," Tara teased. "It could have something to do with the whole nosebleeds and headaches caused by the need to sustain a spell for extended amounts of time."

"How'd it go?" Dawn asked.

"Very neat. My hair was red for a little bit there," Sarah shared.

"She looked good," Tara said. "Then again, I've always been fond of red-heads."

"Speaking of which, there's a red-head you're particularly fond of who has been waiting to see you. She's in the kitchen."

Tara went to find her girlfriend. Willow was stir frying veggies in a big pan. Buffy's kitchen had yet to include a wok. Tara cautiously eyed the proceedings. Still yet to be cooked were mounds of freshly sliced zucchini, peppers and broccoli.

"Feeding an army?" she asked. "Or is Xander bringing a bunch of his construction buddies over again?"

"That's pretty much the same thing, but no on both counts." Willow turned off the stove and abandoned her impression of Emmeril to tightly embrace her lover.

"Are you ok?" Tara asked. "You're shaking."

"I really need to talk to you. I did something stupid. Well, maybe stupid. I don't know."

Tara's mind jumped immediately to dark magic. "Did you ... a spell? Is everyone alright?"

"No, everyone is fine. No spells. It's just that I invited someone over."

"Are they a giant?" Tara asked, still not sure what a house guest had to do with the vegetarian cuisine.

"No, someone else. I'm not sure how to say this, and please don't be mad-"

The door bell rang.

"Oh God, that's him!"

"I got it!" Dawn yelled.

She answered the door. The last person in the world that she would have expected was standing outside. "Oz?"

"Hey. Um, I'm not sure I have the right address. Does Willow Rosenburg live here?" he asked.

"Yeah." Dawn couldn't understand why he was staring at her so strangely. "Oz, it's me Dawn."

"Dawn?"

"You know, Buffy's sister."

Oz was puzzled. "Buffy is an only child."

Dawn caught on. "The monks must not have put the memories in your head, seeing how you were out of the country and all. I was this mythical key sort of thing, but now I'm just a normal, human sister. Sort of."

"Oh. Nice to meet you."

"Come on in, I'm sure Willow will want to see you."

Meanwhile in the kitchen:

"I'm not sure I want to see him," Tara said. "You should, you totally should. But me? I mean, he's nice and all, but he did try to eat me and I think it might just be better, easier, if I disappeared while he was over."

"That's not true. You should meet. And I mean in a non-growly, non-furry sort of way."

"Good thing I shaved my legs today," Tara joked.

"I'm serious!"

"I'm serious too Will. Things are going to be uncomfortable as it is, without me making them more uncomfortable."

Willow took Tara's hand in her own. "I'm not going to pretend that you don't exist. You're important to me, the most important thing in my life. And it took me long enough to admit we were 'we.' I'm not going to start hiding you again now."

"Ok sweetie. Point made, guilt felt."

"Reward?" Willow was making puppy eyes at her.

Tara placed a kiss on Willow's lips.

"Hey Will," Oz said, making his entrance just as the girls' lips were parting. He hesitated before addressing the other. "Hello Tara."

"Hi," Tara said, moving in a little closer to Will. "I can go if you want."

"No," Willow told her, squeezing her hand.

Oz was taking slow, deep, calculated breaths. "It's fine. Are we eating here?" he asked, eyeing the plentiful veggies.

"No," Willow corrected. "I just sometimes like to take out my aggression on innocent plant life. I was thinking Italian food?"

"Sounds good. Do you want to come along?" Oz asked Tara cautiously.

"Nah," Tara feigned casualness. "You two need to catch up, and me, well I don't really have anything for either of you to catch up on. But it was good to see you Oz." She extended her hand.

Oz shook it. Thankfully, no wolf appeared. "Take care."

"Thank you," Willow told both of them. "We should, um, head out." Oz and Willow took off to grab some grub.

"Right. I'll just ... have some stir fry." Tara said. "Dawn, Sarah. You're eating healthy tonight!"

* * *

"You still haven't told me what brought you into town. Unless it's private?" Willow asked.

"Devon. He was thinking of switching to country music. That'sort of thing has to be dealt with in person."

"And here I just thought you missed the calm, soothing effects of Sunnydale living."

"Along with the record high mortality rate."

Willow laughed. "So, are you planning on seeing Xander or the others?"

"Not really. I did run into Spike though. Guy's got issues."

"Spike! Spike's back in town?!"

"I would assume so if I ran into him. But I'm guessing you didn't bring me here to discuss mutual acquaintances. How are you doing Willow, really?" Oz asked. He could always see right through her walls and defenses.

"Horrible, pretty much. I did some really terrible, terrible, unforgivable things."

"How bad?"

"Trying to end the world bad. I-I," she gulped, "I killed people Oz. Human, non-demony people."

Oz took it all in stride. "Why?"

"This evil guy Warren, he killed Tara and he tried to kill Buffy. And I just lost it. I went crazy. I did all this dark magic, hunted him down and killed him."

"It's understandable will. He murdered someone you loved. By the way, how did-"

"She got elevated to Goddess status and came back to me. It was this whole big thing. Long story."

"Oh."

"But the thing is, I'd started dipping into the dark arts before that. Getting in over my head. I only quit magic because it was pushing away the people I loved."

"That must have been rough."

"It was. Extremely rough. Rougher than it should have been. Oz, I'm scared. Scared of who I am. What I could become. What I might already be. I keep telling myself I'm a good guy. I'm a Scooby. But inside I just feel - it's like any little thing could set me off, and then I would be evil for good."

"Willow," Oz took her hand in his. "Listen to me. You are not evil. You are the least evil person I know."

Willow was tearing up. "Thank you. But you weren't here the last few years. You couldn't possibly imagine-"

"In Tibet, I had a ritualistic cleansing to purge the wolf. It made things clearer. Better. It might help you."

"I think I've already purged my inner dog, thank you very much," she asserted. "Except for sometimes around that time of the month ..."

"It works for other things too. Demons, possessions, the dark arts. It changed my life, Willow."

"That sounds," Willow searched for the right word, "neat. But I couldn't possibly. It's not like tickets to Tibet are just going to fall into my lap."

* * *

"How did it go with O-oz?" Tara asked. Since her rebirth Tara hardly ever stuttered. Willow picked up on it.

"He thinks I should go to Tibet with him, for some sort of spiritualistic cleansing thingy. He has an extra ticket. Frequent flyer miles. He thinks it might get rid of the dark magic in me."

"Really? He said that?"

"But I told him no," Willow added quickly.

"Why?"

Willow was baffled. "Because it's *Tibet* and it'd mean dropping out of school and what kind of example is that going to send to Dawn? I'm the only positive scholastic role model she has left! Besides, would you really trust me all alone in another country with my ex-boyfriend?"

Tara placed her hands on her hips and gave her lover a stern look. "Do I have a reason not to?"

"No. Of course not. It's just, being so far away from you..."

"Willow." Tara softened. "I've read about these rituals. They work." She hated to admit it, but it was true. "This might be just the thing you need to move on, forget your past mistakes and stop having those nightmares."

Willow was indignant. "I haven't been having-"

"You talk in your sleep honey."

"Couldn't you do the ritual? Here in Sunnydale?"

Tara took a deep breath. "It takes a someone of great power."

"Hello, *Goddess*," Willow pointed out.

"And they can't have been near you when you were under the influence of dark magic. They have to be pure of that, or else you could remain tainted."

"Oh. Do you think I should do it?" Willow said.

"I think it could help you, but it's not my decision to make. No one can choose your path for you Will. You have to do that for yourself."

"It really wouldn't bother you, me with Oz?"

"Not at all." Tara assured her. "You're my girl. I know that."

"I'll think it over," Willow told her. "I do want to get better. It's just ... Tibet?!"

* * *

Buffy ended an all night struggle with a fungus demon by grasping it firmly by the head and twisting until she heard the tell-tale snap. It collapsed to the ground.

"Great." The battle had not left her unscathed. Buffy looked over her torn and damaged clothing. They were streaked with demon slime. She knew now *why* it was called a fungus demon. "That's ok, I'm sure this will be out of fashion soon. In a month."

Stupid demon! Buffy thought. She had an afternoon shift at the doublemeat that day and had been hoping to get some sleep. However, mucus demons could run. Fast. And this one had led her on a wild goose chase all over Sunnydale.

She headed home. Perhaps she could squeeze in a few hours of sleep before her eight hours of torture, I mean work. Nah, torture was close enough. And she had actually been through torture in her day. She really needed to find a new job.

Thoughts of employment opportunities left her head as she spotted who awaited her return home. On her porch waited an old friend. No friend wasn't the right word. Foe wasn't either. Buffy froze, the panic rising inside her. She didn't have the patience to deal with this now! She spoke to the blond vampire, "Spike." 

TBC.......................


	7. Decisions

Decisions

The Hardest Thing ... Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy are not mine, sadly. They belong to the people at Fox, the WB, UPN and of course the Evil Tyrant of all things Buffy, Joss Whedon.

Dedication: For all those who wish for a happier, lovey-dovier season seven of Buffy.

Apologies: To those who violently dislike Spike. He gets a lot of screen time here. But there are plenty of Dawn/Sarah moments and promises of Willow/Tara moments to come. You can just skip to the "good stuff" if you want. I won't take it personally. Much.

Description: Willow/Tara, Willow/Oz FRIENDSHIP, Dawn/Sarah and Buffy/Spike tolerance at this point. Then again you all know I'm a huge B/S shipper. I guess you'll have to wait and see.

Spoilers: The entire season six. BSD fully revealed. Set after the Tara Trials (if you missed them, they basically tell how Tara came back to life).

Rated: PG-13

*************************************************************

Buffy looked upon the platinum vampire with extreme distaste. She did not have the time or the patience for that sort of bullshit. She cautiously approached Spike. "You shouldn't have come back."

His eyes fell to the dirt, scared and ashamed to meet her glare. "I know, I just..."

"Are an evil obsessive psycho? Yes you are. God, I can't believe I let you get away with it for so long! What was I thinking? Oh yeah, I wasn't."

"Please..."

"No, no please this or please that! I'm not in the mood to chat right not. It is over. You are no longer a part of my life. Go the Hell away Spike, and DO NOT COME BACK."

Spike smiled weakly. "As my lady wishes." His voice was shook, as if it took great effort to speak. He turned to leave. 

The thought that something was wrong nagged at the back of her mind, though she couldn't for the life of her place it. Then Buffy noticed for the first time the sun rising in the distance. A cold chill ran down her spine. "Oh my God."

As the soft light of day touched Spike, his skin began to smoke. He did not falter and made no attempt to cover himself up. In fact he hardly seemed to notice. Buffy rushed to grab him, she threw him in the house. Well, she tried to. An invisible barrier kept him out.

"Shit!" She pushed again. "Fuck! I invite you in."

The two of them fell through the open door as the barrier disappeared. Buffy shut the door behind her.

Spike struggled to get back outdoors. "Why'd you stop me? It's what you bloody want too!"

Buffy held him down with surprising ease. His once super strength was n longer a match for hers. The slayer's fingers fully encircled his wrists with room to spare. He was little more than skin and bones.

"What's that matter with you Spike?" Buffy demanded, the full horror of his intended actions finally donning on her. "You were trying to kill yourself in front of me? Is that supposed to be some sort of big, romantic vampire gesture? Cuz it's not exactly winning me over at the moment."

Spike struggled some more and then gave up, collapsing into sobs. "I just wanted to see you one last time before ... I can't go on like this. It's wrong. I just can't." Inspiration struck. Spike halted his crying and grasped Buffy's hands. "Stake me Buffy. Now. It'll be easier for both of us."

Buffy let go of him and backed away. This was beyond even her dark side. "Ok, you're really freaking me out." 

"I bring pain and misery to everything around me. I don't deserve to go on. I can't, I just can't. And I won't."

" Buffy looked him over. His clothes were torn and tattered and as for Spike himself, he looked like a walking skeleton. "Spike, you're a mess. When is the last time you fed or slept?"

"I can't," he told her, "not since..." The tears overcame him once more. "I want to die. Kill me Buffy please kill me."

Buffy, against her better judgment, knelt beside him. She touched her fingers to his brow. Fear surged inside her, of the memories that touch would bring, but her compassion overwhelmed her. This was not the smug, overly confident Spike she had known and almost loved. Spike leaned into her, resting his head against a her shoulder. Buffy let him cry - once her enemy, once her lover and now the mere shadow of a man.

He passed out of exhaustion sometime later. Buffy lifted him up. He was light as a feather. She carried him over to the couch, placing him carefully upon it and covering him with a stray blanket. She sat down beside Spike, watching over him.

It was like a dream, and Buffy wasn't sure if she wanted it to be real or not. So many feelings should have been coursing through her, yet she felt numb. That terrified her all the more, her lack of feeling. She stirred from his side only at the sound of Willow's voice. She knew not how long she had been sitting there, watching.

"Buffy! There's something I have to tell you. It's Spike - he's..." Willow's voice trailed off as she realized who was residing upon the couch. "...here." Willow looked at Buffy with big, startled eyes. "What's with sleeping blondie?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Um Buff, there's an attempted rapist sleeping on the couch, I think we need to talk about it."

Buffy tossed her hands in the air, at a total loss. "He just showed up ok? I didn't know what else to do."

"A first class staking does spring to mind," Willow suggested.

"Will, he tried to commit suicide in front of me."

Willow stopped in her tracks. She suppressed her impulse to scold. "Wow. Are you ok?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, I'm not. I think there's something wrong with him. I don't know what to do. I just know he needs me. I can't leave him for dead."

She's thinking about Angel right now, Willow realized correctly, and how it felt to kill someone you had once made love to. "I know. But this isn't about just you."

"Trust me, he's not in the position to hurt a fly right now, let alone you."

"It's not me I'm worried about. It's Dawn and Tara. Me isn't really an issue since I'm sort of taking off-"

"Taking off?!" Buffy questioned, puzzled. This was news to her.

"I'm going to Tibet with Oz."

Buffy jumped to her feet. "There's no way Will. I love you and Tara and I'm not going to let you mess it up again. You guys are my new and improved light at the end of the tunnel, and if there are any more train wrecks ... well let's just say I'll be joining the convent."

"Well, you always did look stunning in black," Willow teased. "It's not that kind of trip. Strictly platonic. A definite no to the fuzzy feelings. He thinks he can help me. You saw what those monks did for him. They got rid of the wolf in him, made him better. And well, if they could do that for him, maybe they could make me better too."

"Better than what Will? I thought you were doing ok."

"I am," Willow told her. "I'm great .... when Tara's around. I'm strong and I'm brave and I'm even happy. But I can't be around her 24 hours a day. And when she's gone, when I'm alone, it all starts creeping back to me. What I am. What I've done. And I'm terrified, that if something happened to her or you or Dawnie that I'd snap again."

Buffy and Willow had never really discussed the events of Willow's darkapaloza. It had always been there between them, felt but not vocalized. Buffy suddenly realized how long overdue the conversation was.

"The magic's gone Will. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't."

"Now that's not true," Willow corrected. "Dark magic never fully goes away. Not when you've used the quantities I have. It's here with me always, looming over me like a shadow. I just can't access its power anymore. Besides, there other ways than magic to hurt people, you know that."

"All too well."

"This is something I need to do. Tara understands. I just want to get back to the Willow I once was. I want to be good."

"You are good. You're one of the best people I know."

"No," Willow disagreed. "I'm not. But I think I could be."

"When are you leaving? Because I think we should have a Scooby meeting."

"Tomorrow morning. I'm not about to miss my girls's big night." Buffy drew a blank. "You know, the dance!"

"Oh right, what do you say to a Scooby meeting before?" Buffy asked.

"Count me in. I'll let Tara and Xander know. What about Spike?"

"I'll call in sick, stay here with him. I don't trust him alone."

"A big agreement on the not trusting Spike," Willow said. "On the other hand, you can't call in sick forever."

"I'll worry about it later after he's in better shape. Right now what he needs is rest and ... dammit, blood. Willow, do you think you could make a run to the butcher shop?"

"I'm not real big on the blood and gore right now. Listen, why don't you go. I'll watch over captain peroxide."

"You're sure."

Willow went to Buffy's chest of weapons to collect supplies. "Holy water, a cross and a few stakes out to do it. Just because I don't have magic anymore, doesn't mean I'm defenseless. Not to mention, a simple opening of the blinds and ..."

"I get the fiery picture." Buffy gave Willow a hug. "Thanks, I'll hurry back."

* * *

Buffy had but just placed her order at the butcher shop when she ran into Xander.

"Hey, fancy meeting you here," he told her.

"Xander," she responded, startled. "What are you doing here?"

"Just picking up a few steaks. I got me a manly new BBQer and I wanted to test it out. I was just about to call you guys. How about it?"

"Actually tonight, we were sort of planning a Scooby meeting.."

"Well great, you can have it at my place. Red meat AND monster research."

Buffy dare not leave Spike alone. "I don't think that'd work right now Xander. Can I take a rain check?"

The butcher came out and handed her the container of blood. "There you go miss."

"You're getting blood?" Xander asked.

"I know, isn't it great?" the butcher said.

Xander gave him a look that said, no it clearly wasn't great.

"I told him I was in the musical version of Carrie," Buffy explained.

Xander stared at it for a few moments before speaking, taking it all in. "Ok, it's daytime and you're still wearing a cross, so what's happening?"

"I really can't get into it."

"Either Angel is back in town or ... it better not be another reason."

"It's not Angel."

"Him!" Xander said, furious. "Always HIM. Have you forgotten that he tried to rape you?"

"It's complicated, ok?" she shot back. "He tried to kill himself right in front of me."

"Good!"

"Xander, I couldn't just let him-"

"Yes, you could. And if I had just let him dust himself over Drusilla, this whole mess never would have happened."

"He's in bad shape Xander. Right now he couldn't even harm a fly let alone hurt me. He's different. Changed. I don't know what happened to him, but he is. Different."

"What, you think he suddenly sprouted a soul?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that there's something haunting him. Tormenting him. And regardless of our personal history, I'm not going to let him waste away to nothing."

"You're making a mistake."

"Maybe, but it's my mistake. Look, we'll talk about it tonight, with the others."

"Fine, but you're a fool." Xander stalked away in a huff, the ingredients for his barbeque completely forgotten.

* * *

Buffy gently stirred Spike into consciousness. 

"I'm dreaming," he mumbled as his eyes fluttered open. "You're a dream."

"No I'm not, I'm right here." She spoke to him in soft tones. " I need you do something for me, ok? I need you to eat." She opened the container of blood. "Food will make you strong."

Spike shoved the container away in disgust, nearly spilling it's contents all over Buffy. "It's blood."

"I know, I know... I don't have any Wheatabix or that burma root stuff. But it's perfectly normal blood."

"No," Spike shoved it away again. "Not going to kill."

"Huh?" Buffy was baffled by the repulsion he seemed to have for the red, sticky sustenance.

"I don't kill people anymore," he stated matter-of-factly.

"It's pigs blood, not human!" Spike was not convinced. Buffy sighed and moved to plan B. "We'll take this slow." She dipped a spoon in the blood and brought it to his lips. Spike clamped his mouth tightly shut, refusing to open.

Buffy lost her patience. "I am not doing the airplane game for you! If you don't feed you'll die!" Perhaps that was not the best logic for a vampire who was highly suicidal. Buffy chose a different approach. She edged closer to him. In a calm voice, she did the best to sooth him. "Spike, I need you to do this. For me. Please?"

She had always been the one who could break down his walls and defenses. His mouth parted slightly. He took one tiny sip of the blood and grimaced. He choked it down, educing a coughing fit in the process. "It's awful," he told her.

"I know. Just a little bit more, ok? For me." She fed him a couple of more spoonfuls, all to similar effect. She then put it down. "We'll try a little more later."

Spike looked horrified at the concept but nodded.

"Spike," Buffy had to ask, "How did you get like this? What happened to you when you were gone?"

"I can't talk about it," Spike firmly stated.

"Ok. If you change your mind, I'm here to listen." She had barely left his side when he spoke.

"I know that sorry doesn't mean a bloody thing after everything I did to you. Some things can never be taken back once they've been done. Sorry doesn't change that. But I am - sorry. Never been more sorry in my life. Of all the people I've hurt, what I did to you - it plagues me the most."

Buffy was unsure what to make of this peace offering. "Apology accepted. This doesn't mean I forgive you, and it doesn't mean I forget. I can never forgive or forget what you did. But your apology I can take. I'm sorry too." She was not apologizing to him, but rather telling him how much she wished neither of them had had to experience that. A notion wiggled at the back of her brain. It was preposterous, and yet there was something familiar in his words. Something akin to the way Angel had spoken about his past...

Buffy looked into Spike's eyes. It was difficult for her to do. She didn't want to go back there again. But she had to know. They held the same haunting blueness they always did, but deep within them there was something else. Something new. A spark. "Your soul -"

Spike immediately looked away from her. "Guess the kitten's off of the poker table."

"Why would you do that?"

"Isn't it obvious? I did it for you." Spike chuckled at his own stupidity. "It's what I thought you wanted."

Buffy felt sick to her stomach. "Oh God."

"Of course I see it now. My soul didn't make me worthy. It just made me realize exactly how unworthy I am." Spike sunk deeper into his depression.

"And you want to die?"

"You weren't supposed to know. I thought I'd just disappear. I wanted a last look at you, just a look, before I left this world. I didn't count on you spotting me. I guess things never go quite the way you plan. Just look at me."

"I am. I-" Buffy's lower lip trembled. "It's a lot Spike. I need some time. Do me a favor and get some sleep."

* * *

When Dawn came home from school, Buffy was waiting for her.

"I wanted to talk to you. You snuck off to school so fast this morning-"

Dawn shrugged. "Yeah, well I didn't hear you come in last night, so I figured you'd be all with the snoozing. You know how much you bitch when I wake you up in too early. What's up?"

"There's an emergency Scooby meeting tonight," she informed her little sister.

"No can do. The baddie will just have to wait. I got me some dancing to do."

"Oh right." Buffy remembered Willow had mentioning that.

"Which reminds me, Willow said I could stay over at Sarah's on account of how Xander's car is in the shop and you can't drive and neither can Willow, Tara or myself and you know, brooms don't really work well as mass transportation and Sarah's house is really close to the school so... pretty please." Dawn looked at Buffy hopefully.

Buffy had never had to deal with Dawn-babble before. "You want me to let you spend the night at your girlfriend's house?"

Dawn was offended at the obvious implications. "Her parents will be there. Yeah, like we're going to do something with them in the house."

That never stopped me, Buffy thought. Still, she did not have the timeor the energy to argue. There was enough going on. "All right."

"Excellent!" Dawn, doing a little jump in the air and clapping her hands together. Having gotten what she wanted, Dawn turned to leave assuming the conversation was concluded. She started up the steps to her bedroom.

"Not so fast. There's something I have to tell you. It's Spike-"

Dawn was instantly on alert at the sound of his name. "What did he do?"

"Nothing. He did nothing. He's... he's here."

"Here?!! Where?" Dawn went to search the house."

Buffy stopped her. "In the living room. He's sleeping."

Dawn's eyes grew wide. "You didn't!"

"What? No. God, no! I've been down that road ok, I don't really feel like a revisit. He just needs a little help right now. He's in bad shape Dawnie."

"Good. Now why don't I stake him? Then he'll be in even worse shape."

"Dawn!" The firmness of Buffy's reaction made it clear she did not consider the situation to be a joking matter. "He got his soul."

Dawn felt as if she had been slapped. "Wow. I had no idea. Are you sure?"

"He's a mess. No one is that good of an actor. Look, it'll just be for a couple of days, until I can get him on his feet again."

"A couple of days? Here?!" Dawn did not like that idea, soul or not. "Uh no. Absolutely not. What if he hurts someone?"

"He won't."

"You don't know that. If he hurts Willow, if he so much looks at Tara's the wrong way, I'll make Dark Magic Willow look like Glenda the good witch," Dawn warned. She was dead serious.

"I won't let him hurt anyone again. I swear that to you."

Dawn didn't believe her. "Right. Whatever."

"So, Scooby meeting tonight before the dance?" Buffy asked, desperately seeking Dawn's approval. "Sarah's invited of course. She is a Scooby."

Dawn was genuinely touched in spite of her anger at her sister. "I'll let her know."

"Hey and afterward I'll help you get ready if you want. You know, I've got a great pair of shoes to go with that dress if you want to borrow them, high heels," Buffy told her.

"Puh-lease," Dawn smirked. "Like heels are supposed to make me feel grown up or something. All they do is make me trip and fall. Nope, I got me a nice pair of ballet flats that will do just fine, thankyouverymuch. They're really cute with these tiny little bows."

"They sound cute."

"What can I say, the monks were thorough. They even remembered give me fashion sense." Dawn frowned as a new thought occured to her. "Is Oz coming to the meeting."

"I don't know," Buffy admitted. "I really hadn't thought that far ahead. I guess it's up to Willow and Tara."

"Well, he IS still a Scooby isn't he? I mean even though he and Willow aren't together. He deserves to know."

Buffy nodded. Damn Dawnie. When did she get all wise? "I'll let him know."

* * *

"She's insane and should be stopped," Xander told them, opening the Scooby meeting.

"If we're talking about Martha Stewart, I definitely agree," Oz replied.

"We're talking Spike," Willow explained.

"Spike?" Sarah asked, confused.

Dawn took Sarah's hand in hers. "Remember that older guy I talked about who I sort of liked? Y'know, the one who dated my sister?"

Buffy gave a snort. "Sort of liked? Dawn you used to practically drool every time he walked in the room," she pointed out.

"Buffy dated Spike?" Oz asked.

"I also used to eat peanut butter and salami sandwiches. I would say both are pretty icky, and definitely things I've grown out of. You're one to talk. You slept with him."

"Buffy slept with Spike?" Oz asked, a touch louder.

"It was this whole big thing last year," Willow told him.

Oz raised an eyebrow. "I definitely need to keep in touch better."

"It's not a very happy story," Tara added, "And something we should let Buffy discuss if and when she chooses to."

Buffy shot Tara a grateful look.

"I think I'm missing something," Sarah said, "Why is everyone upset about an old boyfriend?"

"He was never my boyfriend," Buffy protested.

"He's a vampire," Dawn told her.

"A pretty evil one," Oz added, "unless I imagined him trying to kill us repeatedly?"

"He has a chip in his head so he's a harmless bunny now," Xander said, the sarcasm literally dripping from his words. He prepared to apologize for the bunny comment, but then remembered Anya was not present. Of all the mistakes he had made in his life, dumping Anya at the altar was on the top of his list. He briefly wondered how she was. He would probably never know. His thoughts of her were abandoned as a surge of hatred for Spike over powered them. "Oh yeah, except for the time he attacked Buffy and tried to-"

"He has a soul," Buffy announced. The others sat in silence for a few moments.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked.

"He told me himself."

Xander was not convinced, "He's probably just lying."

"I don't think he is," Tara interjected. "His pain, his guilt, his despair - they scream at me from the other room. The soulless don't fully realize those emotions."

"You can feel all that?" Willow asked.

"It would appear I have an increased sensitivity to the feelings of others left over from my Goddess days."

"Good as well as bad? Because would explain the intensity of ... nothing." Willow gave her lover a knowing glance.

Tara leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Darling that's just you."

"Say he has a soul," Xander argued, "so what? He killed people Buffy."

Xander's comment cut short the happy Willow's happy glowy time. "Hey," she said.

"Not to mention he tried to kill us all."

"Need I repeat? Hey."

"Sorry Will," Xander apologized. I just meant that, you know, he tried to end the world."

"Capital H, capital E, capital Y!" Willow gave Xander a sharp look. Even without her powers, Xander withered under her glare.

"Willow raises a good point," Tara interrupted, hoping to prevent to massacre.

"Point? I had a point? I thought I was just being unrighteously indignant," Willow said to Tara.

"We can't give one person a second chance and push away another. To forgive is divine. I'm willing to give him a chance."

Willow nodded in agreement with her lover. "I've done some pretty awful things myself. People can change."

Tara gazed tenderly at the redhead, her eyes full of pride. "I always believed in you. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have fought have come back."

Oz spoke up. "As a wolf who has harmed people in the past, I got to go with the girls on that one."

Dawn hesitated. "I don't like it, but I you have a point. But only if Sarah agrees."

Sarah shrugged. "I'm not really the best judge since I never met the guy, but I'm all for the forgiveness thing."

Xander stared at them, unable to comprehend what he was hearing. "It must be a female thing. You're all nuts."

Oz raised his hand. "Um, male."

"It could be a wolf thing as well. I'm not ruling it out."

Willow spoke lovingly to Xander, making it clear that as his best friend she knew him as well as he knew himself, possibly better. "If you didn't believe that good can come out of evil, you never would have tried to talk me down. You know that."

That was true, and he knew it. "And if he attacks Buffy again?"

"Then that my concern, not yours, and I'll deal with it," Buffy told him. "Look, I'm not thrilled with this plan either. But I can't just sit around and let him die. It'll only be a couple of days, until I can figure out what to do with him. I promise."

* * *

Everyone had to admit Dawn and Sarah looked dazzling. Dawn's hair was separated into many twisted sections that were held in place by butterfly clips, silver to match her dress. Her ballet slippers matched the outfit perfectly. She had passed on the body glitter though, afraid she might look too much like a disco ball. Sarah on the other hand had put her blond locks up into a French twist. She had opted for fluffy high heels with a feather boa to match, both black in contrast with her purple gown.

Buffy, Willow and Tara all joined in a loud, "Awww!" as the couple descended the stairs.

"You guys look hot!" Tara declared loudly.

"Tara!" Buffy said in shock. "That's my sister you're talking about."

"Well they do. I wish I had had a cute girl to take to my high school dances."

"I'll take you to any dance you want sweetie," Willow promised. "Pictures! I need pictures."

Dawn was embarrassed. "We'll get some at the dance."

"Not good enough," Willow told them, whipping out her camera. "I have a whole roll of film with your names on it. Well, you and Tibet." She held the view piece up to her eye. "Say lesbo street cred!"

Dawn and Sarah giggled, as Willow snapped the first shot. "Good, now put your arm around her Dawnie."

Dawn did as instructed, flashing a beaming grin at her girlfriend.

Willow clicked away. "Fabulous. Now I expect a smoochie shot."

Buffy's smile wavered as her sister pressed her lips to Sarah's. She took the camera from Willow. "How about one of you and Tara?"

Willow happily obliged, pulling Tara in and dipping her for a mind-blowing kiss.

"Don't you be giving them any ideas now," Buffy told them, only half serious. "Well, you two better be get on your way. You don't want to be late, now do you?"

"One last picture," Willow said.

Buffy objected as she realized she was the intended subject of Willow's next photograph. "No, definitely not. I have training hair."

"C'mon, you and Dawnie!"

Buffy moved in close to her little sister. The little sister who was now a great deal taller than her. The sister that was growing up so fast, Buffy no longer knew where she stood. Where either of them stood. The sister that would soon lose her need for Buffy altogether, if her slaying skills progressed at their current rate. I hardly even know her anymore, Buffy thought. When did I get so out of touch?

* * *

Sarah and Dawn walked in hand in hand to the dance.

Dawn surveyed her surroundings. "Oooh, tacky streamers and balloons!"

"Not to mention the cheesy music," Sarah added. "Isn't it great?"

"It's perfect." Dawn wrinkled hr nose as she frowned in the direction of a long line. "More pictures?"

"Too many pictures is better than not enough," Sarah pointed out. "You want to spring for it?"

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well, I suppose it would be a waste for the cutest couple here not to be properly captured on film."

"Who?" Sarah asked innocently. "Tony Brown and Dana Allen?"

Dawn elbowed her in the ribs. "At the rate this line is going, we won't get to actually DANCE at our dance."

"Tsk, tsk," Sarah scolded, "patience is a virtue."

"I'm not exactly feeling inclined to be virtuous right now." Dawn's eyes met Sarah's, making little attempt to hide the sexual implications behind her statement.

Sarah instantly became flustered. She attempted to play with her hair, before remembering that it was pinned up. She pushed invisible strands behind her ears. "I, um..."

"You're parents are gone tonight?"

"Yeah, you know that."

Dawn quieted Sarah's hands with a light kiss on her fingertips. "Good."

After much waiting, the dynamic duo finally got in. With no photo-happy Willow to guide them, they began deliberating over how they should pose.

"I suppose you should be in back," Sarah teased, "You are the butch one-"

"I am not!" Dawn responded, easily offended. "Remember, hours spent on make up?"

"It's a cover up," Sarah decided. "You're a closet butch.

Dawn stuck her tongue out at her.

"Better watch it or your face will freeze that way," Sarah scolded.

"Thank you MOTHER," Dawn said sarcastically.

"Mother?" Sarah asked. "I think we just stumbled upon a complex Freud never even dreamed of." She tried one last argument. "You're taller."

"You've got me there," Dawn admitted. She stood behind Sarah, and wrapped her arms around her. The much aggravated photographer took his shot.

"Ok missy, you owe me a dance!" Dawn told her.

The two of them began to get down to the funky rap in the background.

"Get your free corn?" Sarah asked. "What a silly song...oh wait."

They took a break to get some punch.

"Do you think the punch has been spiked yet?" Dawn asked.

"I don't know. I hope not. I need what little coordination I have."

"Nah, you look great out the there. You sort of always look great."

Their conversation was cut short by Danny, a fellow classman.

"Hey Dawn," he said, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey." Dawn, though uninterested attempted to be polite.

"I think it's really great that you and your friend came alone."

"We didn't," she answered.

"Right," he said, not believing her. "So, I was wondering if you wanted to dance."

"I came with someone," Dawn reemphasized.

"Yeah, which is why there hasn't been a guy near you all night. You should be grateful I'm even making the effort. I've heard about that loony of a sister of yours-"

Sarah stepped in, taking Dawn by the hand. "Honey, they're playing a our song."

Dawn followed her out onto the dance floor. "We have a song?"

"We do now." Sarah placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders, swaying slowly back and forth to the strains of Sarah McLaughlin.

iYour love is better than ice cream

It's better than anything else that I've tried.

Your love is better than ice cream

Everyone knows how to fly.../i

"I guess I just outed us," Sarah realized. "Do you mind?"

"Not a bit." Dawn leaned her forehead against the blonde's. Slowly, their lips crept towards each others, until they locked in a tender kiss. Sparks flew between them. Literally.

As they parted, Dawn noticed the shimmering lights around them. "You?"

"I'm still working on the magic thing. It sort of happens on its own sometimes, when emotions are running high, so..."

"Pretty." Dawn winked. "If anyone asks we'll just say it's confetti."

* * *

"Good dance?" Dawn asked when they were safely inside Sarah's residence.

"Best dance. Best night of my life ... so far." Sarah grew flushed.

They made their way into Sarah's room, and placed themselves on opposite sides of the bed.

They changed out of their dresses in quiet. Neither dared to speak what was on both of their minds. They both waited in uncomfortable silence for a move, even a word from the other. An eternity seemed to pass between them.

"So," Sarah said at last.

"So."

The silence lingered on.

"I'm not ready, I'm sorry," Sarah blurted out.

Dawn let out a huge sigh of relief. "I was kinda nervous about it myself."

"It's not that I don't want to-"

"I know." 

"It's just," Sarah gathered her courage, " I don't want to rush into anything that might mess this up. I think I'm falling in love with you. "

Dawn's fingers sought out Sarah's, holding them firm. "I know what you mean. I kinda sorta think I'm falling in love with you too."

"I'm really, really happy that you said that." Sarah cuddled up to   
Dawn. "This ok?"

"Yeah."

They spent the rest of the night just laying in bed holding each other. And it was the best night of their lives ... so far.


End file.
